Poor me. No one sends me a Valentine’s Card these days. You want
to know why? Well, I am a
1933 model and all the warranties on
me have expired. In my young days, on my birthday, there would be
one candle on top of my birthday cake if it was my first
birthday, two if it was my second, and so on, but now! My wife says
the candles would cost more than the cake! so there are no more
candles, but only a cake (if I am lucky!) I feel young at
heart (genuine part and still ticking ! ) but psychologically, I
am made to feel old . The painful realization dawned on me when
my Indian friends and relatives began calling me ‘uncle’ Give me
a break. If Dev Anand and Amitabh are still considered young, why
not me! Though I admit, I need jump starting out of bed past 8.00
a.m.in the morning, ( how I envy watching guys sleeping soundly
on Tempuric mattresses!) and my knees squeak
when bending or
kneeling and I get cramps when sitting in lotus posture at the
temple reciting Hanuman Chalisa! And my back! As soon as I try
to lift a piece of furniture, I am told, ”Don’t lift
that, otherwise you will have to see an orthopaedician.” I play
tennis occasionally, and when my ever fit, young partner Vijay
asks me, ”shall we play best of five or three?” my unhesitant
reply is, ”lets just play best of one.” My friends advise me to
take up Yoga, but I can hardly spell some of the asanas like
Sheershaasana and Ardha Matsyaendraasana, let alone perform
them! When young, I played hu-tu-tu, gilli-danda;kabadi in
sandpits, cricket with tennis-balls, swam in rivers, climbed
guava and mango trees, ran 5k and 10k to help raise money for
the Heart Association or Cancer Research, during winter got on
the Stairmasters and treadmills, and what have you. Though I
can’t flaunt six-pack abs like Shah Rukh, I have maintained good
health so far.
I guess it is bit late for body language now. When young, I used
to gaze in her dark eyes but now that too is difficult as I wear
bi-focals! I try to keep a respectable distance from Bollywood
beauties like Bipasha or Priyanka; lest my heart start beating
wildly like a Congo drum ! I have no desire for a pacemaker!
Before marriage, I used to be very romantic. I used to mail big
perfumed red love- heart Cards
with romantic Mirza Ghalib
Ghazals(copyright infringement!), and heart shaped boxes of Godiva
chocolates together with red stem roses. Oceans of love raged in
my heart and I felt like flying in a plane in the open blue
skies above, writing my fiancée's name in the skies, or sliding
down from the top of snowy Himalayas carrying a bunch of roses
in my right hand! I loved romantic fantasies; ‘Here with samosas beneath the tree
A flask of hot spicy tea, a cassette of ‘1942-a love song’ and
thou
Beside me singing in the wilderness
Oh, wilderness were paradise enow! (apologies to Khalil Gibran!)
How did we celebrate Valentine’s Day last year !. In the rush of
things, I had forgotten about the Valentine Day. Around 4.00
p.m. I overheard my office colleague Janet wishing ‘Happy
Valentine’s Day’ to her boy-friend. So I panicked and left the
office. It had begun snowing. It took me almost two hours to
reach the shopping mall and buy a Card, a bouquet of roses and
her favorite
perfume. Still, I on my way home,
I felt I had to
give her a break from the kitchen. As soon as I reached home, I
dialed Maharani restaurant. The person answering said, ” Good evening, how can I help you?” I said, ”can you book a dinner table
for two this evening.” “Sorry Sir, I wish I could help, but all
the tables have been booked by Young Romeos Club, for the
Valentine’s Day dinner/dance.” That puts a lid on my plan for a
candle -lit dinner, I mumbled. Next. Plan B- ”Lets go on a drive
downtown and get some ‘takeaway’delicacies from the newly opened
Minar restaurant”, I suggested. But my suggestion met with
instant cold water . She said, “ You must be tired. Why don’t
you relax at home. You know you have been advised not to drive at
night. The roads are icy and what if the car skids? Remember
last year we went out and you forgot the car keys in the
ignition and left the engine on ? Why don’t you turn on the
television instead and watch ‘Namaste Bombay’ , while I make
your favorite ‘almond kheer’ for you. And after dinner, if you
are still in a romantic mood, maybe we can listen to Anup
Jalota’s latest CD, ‘Endless Love’. It was around midnight. It
had stopped snowing. The moon had bathed the surroundings with
its silver glow. It was so peaceful. Almond kheer, Anup Jalota’s
romantic song-my wife’s bonus ‘Happy Valentine’s Day kiss’-far
better than Gibran’s jannat !
Well friends, I am an optimist. I still dream of booking a
Caribbean cruise on a Love- boat or give her a diamond necklace
one day .Hopefully the promised economic growth stimulus rebate
by the Bush admininistration comes through quickly.!
I can wait. She still loves me. It is all spiritual, you see. To
quote Shelley
“Nothing in the world is simple
All things by law divine
In one spirit meet and mingle
Why not I with thine”
1933 model and all the warranties on
me have expired. In my young days, on my birthday, there would be
one candle on top of my birthday cake if it was my first
birthday, two if it was my second, and so on, but now! My wife says
the candles would cost more than the cake! so there are no more
candles, but only a cake (if I am lucky!) I feel young at
heart (genuine part and still ticking ! ) but psychologically, I
am made to feel old . The painful realization dawned on me when
my Indian friends and relatives began calling me ‘uncle’ Give me
a break. If Dev Anand and Amitabh are still considered young, why
not me! Though I admit, I need jump starting out of bed past 8.00
a.m.in the morning, ( how I envy watching guys sleeping soundly
on Tempuric mattresses!) and my knees squeak
when bending or
kneeling and I get cramps when sitting in lotus posture at the
temple reciting Hanuman Chalisa! And my back! As soon as I try
to lift a piece of furniture, I am told, ”Don’t lift
that, otherwise you will have to see an orthopaedician.” I play
tennis occasionally, and when my ever fit, young partner Vijay
asks me, ”shall we play best of five or three?” my unhesitant
reply is, ”lets just play best of one.” My friends advise me to
take up Yoga, but I can hardly spell some of the asanas like
Sheershaasana and Ardha Matsyaendraasana, let alone perform
them! When young, I played hu-tu-tu, gilli-danda;kabadi in
sandpits, cricket with tennis-balls, swam in rivers, climbed
guava and mango trees, ran 5k and 10k to help raise money for
the Heart Association or Cancer Research, during winter got on
the Stairmasters and treadmills, and what have you. Though I
can’t flaunt six-pack abs like Shah Rukh, I have maintained good
health so far. 
with romantic Mirza Ghalib
Ghazals(copyright infringement!), and heart shaped boxes of Godiva
chocolates together with red stem roses. Oceans of love raged in
my heart and I felt like flying in a plane in the open blue
skies above, writing my fiancée's name in the skies, or sliding
down from the top of snowy Himalayas carrying a bunch of roses
in my right hand! I loved romantic fantasies;
perfume. Still, I on my way home,
I felt I had to
give her a break from the kitchen. As soon as I reached home, I
dialed Maharani restaurant. The person answering said, ” Good evening, how can I help you?” I said, ”can you book a dinner table
for two this evening.” “Sorry Sir, I wish I could help, but all
the tables have been booked by Young Romeos Club, for the
Valentine’s Day dinner/dance.” That puts a lid on my plan for a
candle -lit dinner, I mumbled. Next. Plan B- ”Lets go on a drive
downtown and get some ‘takeaway’delicacies from the newly opened
Minar restaurant”, I suggested. But my suggestion met with
instant cold water . She said, “ You must be tired. Why don’t
you relax at home. You know you have been advised not to drive at
night. The roads are icy and what if the car skids? Remember
last year we went out and you forgot the car keys in the
ignition and left the engine on ? Why don’t you turn on the
television instead and watch ‘Namaste Bombay’ , while I make
your favorite ‘almond kheer’ for you. And after dinner, if you
are still in a romantic mood, maybe we can listen to Anup
Jalota’s latest CD, ‘Endless Love’. It was around midnight. It
had stopped snowing. The moon had bathed the surroundings with
its silver glow. It was so peaceful. Almond kheer, Anup Jalota’s
romantic song-my wife’s bonus ‘Happy Valentine’s Day kiss’-far
better than Gibran’s jannat !